As for other happenings...My father was admitted into the hospital on Friday afternoon. He has pneumonia & his left lung is nearly full of liquid & his oxygen level was considerably low. They expected him to stay at least 2 days, so I will check here in a bit to see how things are progressing. My sister recently moved up to my dad's house with her 2 kids. So when she called to tell me the news, she was crying and upset, telling me that they had admitted him. I'm not sure if it's me, maybe I'm just a ruthless witch? But I just didn't feel the need to cry like that. People get sick & they get better right? So am I an awful person because I don't break down when I hear that my dad is in the hospital?
Other than that, not a whole lot has happened out of the ordinary daily issues that I so often deal with. Oh...I did get a new stereo/dvd player put in my van from the children's father. I think he is trying to kiss butt, but kiss away, will make me no difference either way. Now we are just waiting for him to put the drop down screen in the back so that they kids can watch movies and what not, keep them busy during road trips. I mean he does own the store, and has tv's in all of his vehicles, so why not?
Well I plan to go get a battery charger for my camera today so that I can take plenty of pics to share with all of you here. So there you have it! I shall return....
Here's the thing, and I will try to keep this short and sweet, but it needs to be said so that hopefully someone will agree with me and I can know that it's not me.
For those who may not be an active reader of my blog, here's a bit of background on me. I am a single mom of 3, ages 8, 7 and terribly 2 at the moment. I also work from home, oh and don't forget about boy scouts & girl scouts, and well you get the picture.
So...I'm getting the picture that no one understands how busy I truly am. Not anyone around here anyhow. They seem to think because I am at home I can do what I want when I want. Wrong! My time is precious and has to be spent just right or all heck breaks lose and I start to stress out.
So today, and this happens all the time, but today I am on the phone speaking with a lady who called me in regards to working from home and what I do, a future team member I expect. But anyhow, so I am on the phone with her and I get a beep, it's call-waiting. Oh, it's only the kids' father. Not important, it can wait. But noooo, it's like hang up & call back, then call cell phone, and then house, and cell and house, house, house. Like I said this happens quite often and every time it is the same crap. "Whatcha doin?" Are you kidding me???? I am doing what I have to do in order to support myself and my kids because that is my responsibility and I don't seem to be getting much if any help from anyone else....this of course I have restrained from saying out-loud because there is no point in wasting yet more time on something that has been said a thousand times over and still doesn't seem to sink in.
Then as I begin to be a smart-***, I mean who wouldn't be right? He wonders why I get so "crabby" with him or why I have an attitude problem. (Here we go again...) I ask, "what is so gosh darn important? What's the emergency?" *uhhh, blank stares* "What is it that just couldn't wait? Do I not have caller id and voice mail? Don't you think if I wasn't busy I would answer the phone? And if I was busy, I would call you when I wasn't?"
Seriously, I am constantly talking and no one is listening. Because it's not only him. My mother does the same thing as well. I don't know what it is with them and calling non-stop until you finally answer after 45 calls, only to find out all they would say is "What are you doing?"
Welcome to my life!
It's every single time you turn around for a moment, she is into something. I have never had to childproof my house, ever. They just didn't get into stuff that was not meant for them. Don't know how to explain it, there was no formal training involved, but they just didn't do it. Now though, we have a situation on our hands.
Sissy is constantly messing with the ornaments on the Christmas tree. Last night she threw 2 of the bulbs down the stairs to the entryway and of course they shattered. Not a huge deal, they can be replaced. But the fact that I am constantly cleaning up another mess, or the fact that if someone was to get cut from walking through a mess like that, I don't know.
She also likes to find whatever liquid sort of substances she can and covers herself with them. If she gets into the bathroom, she uses the shower gel. If she finds "white out" she paints herself with it. If she finds pens or markers, that too.
I'm not kidding, this little one is sneaky but does it in such a way that it's hard to get upset with her. And overall, as long as it's not anything that will hurt her or anyone else, I have always been one to let it slide in a sense. (Not real big on discipline...) I don't think that yelling does any good, so I don't do that. (Well not often anyhow.) And I don't believe in hitting (beating) your kids, I mean they are just kids for goodness sake.
Oh who knows...I guess we will have to just see how this one is going to play out for now. And I better not take too much time here, she took off out of my view a few moments ago and there is no telling where or what she could be doing.
It all has sort of snow balled since her dad got home in June. (If you don't know this story yet...here is a brief overview over in a Journal entry at Mayas Mom.) He isn't living here yet he tries to pretend that he is actually doing his part in taking care of the kids. He is able to justify that by buying them "things." Whatever they want really. Point in blank, he takes Nana shopping for her birthday last week and she gets some jeans, a shirt and a new coat. What got me as insane is that new coat that she got is a white, yes I said white, South Pole, parka type with fur around the hood and all. Why in the world would you buy a kid a white jacket, do you not know that white is the absolute worst color to get for kids? His answer was "well that's the one that she wanted."
You get the picture. But now I have to really put my foot down because she is starting to show her "diva" attitude and I don't care for it. When a friend of mine picks her up from Girl Scouts on Thursday because she had not given Nana her birthday gift yet and does so then, Nana looks at her like what the heck is that and says "is that it?" Now none of my kids have ever been that way before. They are always happy with what they get, and it can't be because she didn't like it. Shoot she was hounding me from the moment she walked in the door to open it for her.
Either way, I had a little talk with her and hopefully that will be the end of it. We will definitely see. I always use the how would you feel if.... I tell ya, it works wonders.
On to plan B. We don't really need to have a Wii(I mean the kids' don't need one...) but it does seem like fun. Not only that but I am so sick and tired of seeing thousands of toys all over the place, things they so badly wanted and simply got tired of them and they are left in the bottom of the toy box. So what else could I do? Maybe wrap a photo of a Wii and leave a little note that this is what they get for Christmas, oh sometime in January. (I hope anyhow) But I came up with a better idea.
Through my search for this darn thing, I did learn a lot about it and also that you can somehow link or play Game Cube games through the Wii also. Now we do not have a Game Cube, but Beaner has mentioned more than a few times that he would like one because my aunt has one and he plays it every time we go there. So....I won me a Game Cube tonight on ebay for less than $100 with a few extra games and all. And I figure he will still be excited & then later on down the road when the excitement has died down on the Wii's, then possibly we can consider it again.
So I am finished with my gift shopping and now can sit back & relax. (Yeah right!)
In fact, there are many married women of which I think have it way more difficult then I do. For example, the many women who are living in a abusive relationship day in and day out because they have no idea what else to do. They live in fear every single day and to me that is the absolute worst way to live.
Then there are the women who's husbands are deployed overseas and they are simply waiting for the day when he walks back through the door and is home. They too have the constant worry but in a much different way, they have to wonder if all is well? Why hasn't he been able to call for the last 2 months? Sitting by the phone waiting and worrying. To me that too is not a fun way to have to live your days.
When people find out that I am a single mom with 3 kids and that I work from home, they are in ways set back by it. They praise me and tell me that I am so much stronger then they could be, and how do I do it? All I have to say is, I am not any stronger nor do I have any special talents than you do. You just have to make the most out of what you have and realize that there is always, always, someone who has it harder than you do at any given moment, and whatever it is that you're going through, it too will pass.
We knew that it was going to be nasty weather this weekend, they warned of an ice storm and as you can see, he popped his ugly head, just as planned. And the worst thing about it is that I really should have went grocery shopping yesterday.
However, it is nothing compared to the one we experienced last year. So many lost power due to the massive amount of heavy ice that took down power lines all over the place. There were communities that went without power for weeks and even a few for more than a month. It was terrible.
So this is what we woke up to today. As you can see, there is no way I am even attempting to get all that ice off of my van, it's going to have to melt itself off first.
So today, instead of putting my thoughts on paper to lose somewhere, I am going to live my future posts that I need, or more so, want to do right here on my blog. This way I can get my much needed work done (has to be all in by 5pm CST today...end of the Month...) And then later I can do all the other wonderful things that need be. So here goes...
- Book Review on I Love You More...
- BZZZ Agent...
- Nana's stinky attitude (done)
- Post to wahfacts blog...(done)
- Connecting WAHM's Message board (I'm the Moderator for the Ameriplan folder) probably should get a little something posted about us right?(done, yet it is an ongoing issue that should be placed on my daily to do list also.)
(This is just one little thing I am trying in order to fight my procrastination dilemma.)
Anyhow, what I found out today was this...apparently Nebraska is one of the places that tends to have a terrible shortage on items such as the Nintendo Wii. Because in one of my ranting sessions, and pleading with everyone I know online to help me find one, I get a response that changes everything a bit. In Michigan it appears that they don't have the shortage issue? Interesting isn't it?
I also must have been thinking crazy a bit because I actually sent a message to a complete stranger on ebay in hopes that he would feel sorry enough for me and be willing to sell me a Nintendo Wii outside of the cut-throat auctions on ebay. It was a long shot, but I figured what the hay, not much to lose.
I ended up getting a better response then I was expecting. He says he may just be willing to do that, what was I looking to spend, and he would see what he could do. When it was all said & done, we didn't actually do a deal. But he did give me some really great pointers on how to get one.
According to him, Wal-Mart receives shipments about twice a week. And if I just keep calling frequently, I should be able to catch one sometime between now & Christmas. He also explained some of the reasons that it is costing them so much on ebay. With the high cost of gas, along with ebay fees, shipping & insurance fees, paypal fees and all that it takes to get them out there, I guess I can understand a little bit.
Either way, the majority of my previous rant concerning people jacking the price up more than double the purchase price, actually resulted from a search on craigslist.org. And yes, it was in Nebraska, thought I would give it a shot and I did find many people who had Wii's to get rid of. And I think the cheapest one I say was $400. That's what gets me. And they are local or very short driving distance, so there aren't any of the other fees involved and they are still asking that sort of price for this. That is what is outrageous to me.
Either way I think all will work out well. Actually a team member of mine, who happens to live in Michigan, and will be going out shopping tonight or tomorrow anyhow, she is going to keep her eyes open and hopefully we will get one that way if needed. This way I can pay that $250 it costs, plus tax and then shipping. It just may be the best way to go.
Wow, that was definitely longer than I had hoped....again. I will keep you all posted in regards to the craziness that is brewing around here.
Now I completely understand the idea behind supply and demand. But that still doesn't make it fair. And personally I just think it's all about the greedy getting all they can from us little people. Why you ask do I feel this way? Let me tell you...
It has become clear, or at least I finally see some of the larger picture of it all. I understand that they simply do not produce enough of the stinkin game (Wii) to keep up with the demand of it all. That being said, there are so many people that simply go out, and do what ever they have to in order to purchase each and everyone of the Wii's as soon as they hit the floor. I mean they don't need 10 systems for themselves. They simply are out to purchase them for $250, then turn around and push them on the internet for $400, $500 and more.
I refuse to give in to anyone trying to do this. To me it's just plain old stinky greed. And don't get me wrong, I know that we all need money in order to live, and yes money is great, but to take advantage of someone else to do so is just not right.
Therefore I will continue my search for a Nintendo Wii for my kids for Christmas, but I am boycotting any individual who is trying to sell me a system for more than twice it's purchase price, along with the 15 other systems they have already sold in the past week.
Everything happens for a reason. And if we were meant to get a Wii, we will get one. Patience is the virtue of all happiness.
See I've helped ease myself back into reality. Speaking your mind and getting it out there really does help.
P.S. If you happen to know of anyone or any store with a Wii in hand/stock...I would love it if you snatched it up for me and let me know. lol
Many of you may have heard the story already, it's about 'Baby Grace' and you can find the ABC Story here. It truly makes me feel sick to my stomach that a mother could let this happen to her child. If you have not yet heard of this story, here is just a brief summary, it's hard for me to even try to explain and I was not even personally involved, oh it's just awful.
It happened in Texas, Houston I believe. But long story short, if you want the details, you can read the story. A mother, who is 19 and her husband, 24, of which she met on the internet and moved to Texas with in June, beat the little 2 year old girl to death in July mind you. They hid her body in a shed for some time, then put her in a box and dumped her in the Galveston Bay. All of this supposedly because she would not say "please" and "yes sir?"
And even if the mother is claiming in her story now that it was him that beat her little girl, I believe that she is just as much to blame, even if she didn't lay a single hand on that girl. (Which I highly doubt.) But she stood by and let it happen and did nothing to protect her. She didn't call an ambulance when her baby stopped breathing, or when she was thrown across the room and fell on her head.
You know my Sissy just turned 2, and I can't even begin to imagine how awful that was for that poor little girl. She was 2 for goodness sake. She shouldn't be proper and polite, she is still a baby.
I could go on and on about all the things that are just plain wrong, and how this is something that should never happen to anyone. But all I'm going to say is this...if anyone ever gets to the point where their child is annoying them so badly that they feel beating them is the answer, I assure you it is not. And I'm sure, regardless of how evil any person is inside, this mother is never going to be able to get over the fact that she watched her little get beat to death and did nothing. That memory is permanently embedded in her soul, never to be forgotten. All it would have taken is a simple phone call. That's it. Who cares if they would have gone to jail from the marks already left on the poor child's body. That child would still be here, and I'm sure their time would have be not nearly long enough in the county jail. I pray that they sit and rot with the constant memories of what they did forever. It's just something you don't do, hurt an innocent child.
There is always help if you need it, all you have to do is ask.
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are hot dogs sold in packages of 10, while the buns come in packages of 8?
I know there are lots and lots of things that just don't make sense, not always logically anyhow. So what else you got? Anything?
Just for today I will live through the next 12 hours and not tackle my entire life's problems at once.
Just for today I will improve my mind. I will learn something useful. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
Just for today I will be agreeable, I will look my best, I will speak in a well modulated voice, and I will be courteous and considerate.
Just for today I will not find fault with friend, relative or colleague. I will not try to change anyone but myself.
Just for today I will have a program. I might not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two enemies- hurry and indecision.
Just for today I will exercise my character in three ways. I will do a good turn and keep it a secret. If anyone finds out it doesn't count.
Just for today I will do two things I don't want to do, just for the discipline.
Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially will I be unafraid to enjoy what is beautiful and believe that as I give to the world, the world will give to me.
Tomorrow, or actually, today...is Nana's birthday. I can hardly believe that she is 7 years old. Time does fly by. I can still remember when she was just a little, innocent, quiet girl. That has all been lost, nah...she is still my love and my life.
As for Thanksgiving, we lived through it. It actually went by without any major family disturbances and everyone got along pretty well. We ate lots, and watched some movies, and just hung out at my aunt's house.
And then it was Black Friday, day of the wonderful sales, and crazy people who get up and stand outside in the cold, just to see what sort of deals there are to be had. I admit, I was one of those crazies, but it was worth it. I have pretty much all of my Christmas shopping done, all I need is a few little odd and end things for the stockings. Oh, and the Wii...silly me can't read I guess because the ad I was looking at, the whole reason I was venturing out that morning, well it happened to be for Thanksgiving day? Oops...oh well, K-Mart is suppose to get a shipment of them in tomorrow, I mean today, and I am hoping to get one then. If not, I suppose there's always ebay.
Back to our experience with the Friday morning shopping madness. So my sister and I ventured out to ShopKo at 4am. We stood outside in like 10 degree weather, and even witnessed a woman in front of us have a diabetic seizure and fall over and hit her head on the concrete. All of this so that we could get our hands on an mp3 player, well actually 3 of them, for only $20, regular price $70. So I freeze my rear off, outside for like 45 minutes, and when we get inside and make our mad dash for the items on our list, I'll have you know, there were no more mp3 players. How could this be? The stinkin store only had 6 total. SIX! Now what was the point of even advertising that??? Oh, I know, so that silly people like me will line up at 4 in the morning, and then purchase other items as well, because you have to make it worth the while.
Either way, we did get some great stuff. All of the kids got 2 items each for gifts, we bought like 20 DVD's (I have a huge collection of dvd's, I can't help it...) Anyhow...I also got a new vacuum, a memory card, and I'm thinking that's it. But I only spent roughly $150, so not bad.
I'm just glad that I'm done shopping so soon. I am usually the last minute shopper, desperately trying to find that much needed item. But not this year, this year I can relax and enjoy myself. We even got the Christmas Tree up and decorated, and the presents are wrapped as well. (Oh, minus one that Sissy decided to open today. Luckily it was only my nephews and we can fix it. )
I especially love getting gifts for everyone, especially my kids. I know that they probably have way more than enough toys and gadgets already, but with all the new stuff that they are constantly coming up with...I'm like a kid again myself.
I have decided that this year however, instead of getting them a whole swarm of different things, I am going to get each of them one really good gift or at least a themed set of stuff that works together. (If that makes any sense at all?)
For Sissy, who just turned 2, and at her check-up appointment, the doc says she needs to be on a bit of a diet? I know she's a big girl, but honestly a diet? She weighs 41 lbs. Her sister was that big at like 14 months. And you have to realize that this little (big...) girl, at 2 years old, wears a size 9 shoe. Even the kid at Foot Locker said he had never seen a girl so young with such large feet. She is definitely a force to be reckoned with.
Anyhow, since we are suppose to do all that we can for this weight issue...I have decided that she is going to get the Fisher Price Smart Cycle-- It's a stationary bike, a learning center, and an arcade all wrapped into one system that you simply plug into the tv. How inventive is that? And it's not too terribly priced...just under $100.
As for Nana, I'm not quite sure what I'm going to get for her. She will be turning 7 at the end of November, but there's not much that she voices her opinion on, except for the fact that she thinks she needs a cell phone. You have got to be kidding me, a cell phone in the 1st grade?? I may consider getting her an iPod of her own, beings she is constantly taking mine, and you know having all those cartoons and goofy kid stuff that is flowing out of my iPod on an ever growing basis, it would be nice to have an all adult version for myself again.
And Beaner...the 8 year old, 3rd grader, who at this age is all about stuff that can put a damper on your pocket. He had decided some months ago that he definitely wanted a 4-wheeler for xmas? Seriously?? I have no idea what these kids are thinking? Anyhow, his dad states that he can get them at wholesale anyhow, so he begins to think it's a possibility.
But recently he has been focused on wanting a Nintendo Wii. I mean who doesn't want one of these bad boys. I guess when you think about it, it would be beneficial to the whole family, I mean it is a game that makes you have to get up and move. Definitely a possibility. Just a little set back at the price tag on this item, which can range from $300 and up.
I'm curious as to how others do their gift buying as well? Do you go all out and spend way more than you know you should? Do you have a set number of gifts that you get each child? Or is it just a simple last minute...oooh this looks neat...sort of thing?
As you may or may not know, Sissy turned 2 on Saturday. So I decide that I will invite just the immediate family, with the holidays right around the corner, we will be seeing enough of everyone else. So I invite my parents and their spouses, Sissy's dad and his brother and cousins, my sister and her kids, as well as a friend of mine. Nothing too big, I was simply cooking some lunch & we would have cake. All started out okay, but it wasn't long before someone had to start in. You see, my sister tends to be a little loud and sometimes yells a lot. It's something we've all come to expect and ignore. But my step-mother decides to get all pissy about something and start in with my sister, then leaves outside and walks to the store, refusing to talk to anyone. I'd like to point out that my daughter was the one who just turned 2, regardless of how others were acting.
But it wasn't only that, my mother decided that there was something else that was more important to do then showing up at her granddaughters birthday party. They had to go "scouting" for prime hunting ground. I mean seriously?
And this isn't the only party that has ended up so. I won't go into much detail, but a few years ago, when we decided to have my nephews party here at my home, it got a tad bit nastier. That party ended up in someone going to jail, due to someone getting "accidentally" stabbed in the hand, and all of this was because people were arguing over who was going to take care of my nephew. (Mind you, neither one of those people was his mother??)
So needless to say, I don't think I will ever have another birthday party here at home. Why take the time to get everything ready and clean up, when we can just go to Valentino's or something and let them do all the work.
The freedom is awesome. I'm actually sitting on the sofa as we speak. Something that I have never been able to do before.
I'm not going to go on and on about this. Just had to let you all know that I did it. It is Christmas in November!
You know, my youngest will be turning 2 this Saturday. It doesn't seem like she should be getting so big already. Last night she had so much fun trick or treating. I think she snuck away and ate a little too much candy however, because around midnight or so, I was still online (of course...) and I heard her downstairs as she started crying a little. When I go down there to see what was the matter, she is sitting straight up in bed saying "more candy, more candy." I told her no more candy Sissy and she laid right back down and went to sleep.
While we are talking about Sissy, she has been exceptionally naughty lately. She doesn't try to deny it either. If we say, "who did it?" She tells us, "Sissy did it." We say, "who's naughty?" "Sissy naughty," she says. I can't get mad at her though, I mean she's only being an adventurous toddler.
Her recent doings have involved painting herself with white-out. (BTW...that stuff is really hard to wash off of skin. Don't try this at home!) She has also taken upon the art of coloring on the walls. (Good thing it was a dry erase marker, it wiped off rather easily.) She also likes to prove her point that if she can't have it, then no one can. If one of the older kids leave their drink or what not anywhere she is able to get to it, she will take it upon herself to have some. And what do the older one's do when they see this? "Sissy...NO..." And yep, Sissy dumps it over spilling it all over the floor.
I'm glad that I'm not a person or a mother who worries too much over spilled milk. They are only little once, and when she is grown, none of this would have mattered anyhow. Spills can be cleaned up, and washed away. It's time that can't be taken back.
So, I have been fighting with my computer for quite some time now, and as a vowed not so long ago, I was going to finally splurge a little on myself this year and purchase a new laptop. Well, this past week has been heck dealing with my now non-existent computer. It would completely shut down on me, not just once a day either, more like 6 or 7 times a day. You know how frustrating that can be?
Anyhow, I ordered myself one today from Gateway and it should be here at the very latest by November 9th. They mentioned it most likely will come sooner, but at the latest by next Friday. I am so excited I can hardly control myself. I feel like a kid again, so impatient and eager to play with her new toy.
I do have to admit, I went all out on this one. I got the Gateway C-140x Convertible Notebook. It's one of those tablet pc's, the one's that you can flip over and use just like a notebook? It comes with plenty of memory and all the extra little "stuff" I might need.
I am so excited! Imagine the freedom, the simplicity, the possibilities.
I will definitely share more after it arrives.
You see, my day started off really well. As I posted earlier this morning, I was beginning to tackle some of my "flaws" in order to live a more peaceful life. And it wasn't just that, I have been doing great with my home business, one of the top recruiters on our team actually. Things are looking up financially, actually better than they may have ever been, well at least since I took on the role of a "single" mom. All is going great!
Then it starts happening...It started with my computer. As some of you may know from my previous posts, I was planning on purchasing a new laptop as my Christmas gift to myself this year. Judging from today, it seems that I'm going to be getting my gift early this year. I last remember counting number 6 as in the number of times my computer decided to just completely shut down on me. I knew it was coming, but seriously, why now?
Then, and this one is much better, let me tell you. I get a knock at the door just shortly after lunch. Hmmm...who could it be? The sheriff? Yep, I was being served papers to appear in court. Why is that? I am being taken to small claims court by a woman who is much like a grandma to me, and she filed this claim with absolutely no warning to me. She is suing me for the $600 I had borrowed from her back in July so that I could attend our corporate convention in Dallas. Mind you, she knows the situation I am in and the fact that I am the sole supporter of my 3 kids, with little to no help. She claims that she has tried to call me and I do not answer, this is simply not true. In fact, she was here in town just a few days ago and went to Sam's Club with my mother, the reason I know that is because they had to use my Sam's Club card. I know it can't be because she needs the money. So if money is not the issue, then what can it be?
I was too upset to call her today, I still can't believe that she did it in the first place. But here is my theory on why she may have done this and taken it to this level. Personally I think that my mother (and even more so, her mouth) may be the culprit. My mom has a tendency to "share her opinion & thoughts" about persons, and/or situations, regardless of what the facts actually are. As you may have read in a previous post about my life with my mother, she tends to have her own view as to how things seem, while the rest of the world sees otherwise. When she is feeling left out, she gets mad. When she wants help cleaning her house, and we don't go do it (it's not our mess, I mean we have our own houses to clean up and kids to clean up after, no time to clean up after 2 grown adults, right?) either way if we don't drop what we are doing and run, she's mad. It really can be about anything, you never really know, but no matter what, when she is mad, she lets everyone know. It has been this way my entire life. Through my teen years, I think that everyone who came in contact with my mother heard how awful I was. True Story!
Enough about that though, I just think that she may have been gossiping about things, not even realizing what she was doing. You see, like I said, I get little to no help from the children's father. Even though he owns his own business, drives nice cars (not just 1 or 2, more like 5-10) Things like a Chrysler 300, Cadillac Escalade, Expedition, the list could go on. My mom has made numerous comments concerning this issue in fact. And every single time the children's father has actually offered to buy diapers, or anything of that nature, and we were in the presence of my mother, she sticks out her hand and says "oh, I could use some of that." Who does that?
Anyhow, I just think that "N"-the woman suing me-is under the impression that if Jr.-the kids father- is doing so well, I must be also. If she only knew...
I tend to let myself get so bogged down with everything that I feel needs to be done, so much so that I don't do much of anything. Case in point this blog. It doesn't take me long to jot a little something here real quick, lets say 15 minutes tops. Yet I sit and think about which topic I should talk about first, and then not being able to come to a decision, I simply add it to my "to do" list for later.
As for that constantly growing, never ending, "to do" list...I say to heck with it. From this day forward I am trashing the old list, and vow to start anew, but this time I will start finishing those little pesky tasks that I have there. I think that the idea of seeing that huge lists of things to do really put a damper on my entire day.
So I am starting fresh. Who's with me? All the "little" things I used to simply put off until later, I am going to just do them and get it over with. If there is something that I dread doing, but needs to be done regardless. I will do a little bit each day if I have to, one bite at a time.
Shoot, just by taking this 5 minutes to post here, something of which I have put off forever, I already feel somewhat relieved. What else can I get done today?
So here you have it...
My parents split up when I was in the 5th or 6th grade. My sister and I went to live with my mom. I'm not sure who decided this, most likely my mom made the decision for everyone, either way I can see why they would not stay together. No one that knows my parents now, is able to picture them being married in the first place. They are like fire and ice, black and white, two complete opposites.
My mom has never been one to hold her tongue. She likes to gossip, and she tells everyone everything. She always has. Even after my parents split, and their subsequent divorce, my mother frequently bad mouthed my father, both to us directly, as well as to everyone she talked to. She would state how my father didn't care about us because he never wanted to have us stay with him on the weekends. And how he was never there and never would be. And so many other awful things that no one should ever tell their children about one of their parents.
Later in life, she would state that she didn't know that my father had to work Saturdays and that was why he wasn't able to take us on the weekends. But she swears to the fact that she never spoke this way in front of us. Ummmm...ok.
Moving on. Teenage years are hard to deal with, I know that. But with my mother they were exceptionally difficult. You see my mother worked 2-3 jobs at a time. She worked nights at a factory. Would come home sleep for a few hours. Then go to work as a hair dresser. And on the weekends would bar tend at a local bar. My sister and I were left to pretty much take care of ourselves. We cooked, cleaned, did the laundry, we didn't see her much then. And she was doing all of this and still was just barely getting by. (I don't know why, or how true that is, considering the fact that she didn't spend much on us. I was working as a waitress when I was 14 and was required to buy my own clothes, etc.)
I don't want this to go on and on about every little thing that she did to us, or the choices she made that maybe weren't the best, especially when they are done with your children watching and learning from your example. But there is one other issue that I think is important to understanding my mom and how she plays a role in my life story.
You see, my mom has a way of wanting to do things for people, as if she is doing it out of the kindness of her heart. But then turns around and throws it right back up into your face for all of eternity. This is a major issue that I can't seem to settle with my mom. She can't see it in the way that everyone else does. She seems to think that she is the only one who does all this stuff for everyone, and yet no one appreciates her for it, or that no one does anything for her. I have come to a point where I refuse to ask her for anything. (Unless it would be a life or death situation, then maybe.)
To sum it up, because honestly I could probably go on and on about stuff, but all in all it boils down to the fact that my mother has, in her mind, what she believes to be true, she creates her own little story of what she thinks took place, and well that's her story and she's stickin to it. When she has a grudge, she holds it forever. She will always hold that one issue, both big and small, against whomever it is, forever. She refuses to try and see things differently and from someone else's point of view and quite frankly thinks that the world may be out to get her.
That reminds me of one last thing, she acts a bit like a hypochondriac. She always seems to have something ailing her. Personally I think it's all in her head, one minute she could be just fine, and the next she is so sick. It's kinda funny how it plays out, because it seems as though she tends to get sick when she starts to fall out of the center stage. I think it's her way of bringing the attention back into her court, as well as getting people to feel sorry for her and think that we are the worst daughters on the face of the earth because we refuse to fall for her all to common trick.
It's all these issues and more, that make it hard for me to respect and look up to her as my mother. A mother doesn't make her children feel guilty for things that they had no control of. A mother doesn't break a child down simply for their own satisfaction. A mother does things because she wants to, not because of the recognition that can be gained (as well as the sympathy) A mother is there to help her children in any way that she can, not ask them for help and then criticize them for not doing enough.
I would have liked for my mother to have been someone I could trust and look up to. But that simply has not been the case here. We will see what the future brings.
The only way I can think of to make this simple and to keep everything as minimal as I can, is to break it down into pieces. For example, to really know me and understand where I'm coming from and why I feel the way that I do about certain things, I think it's important to know a little bit about each person that personally plays a role in my day to day life. You know my family, friends, and others who have crossed my path along the way.
I am also going to start sharing some of the different obstacles that I have had to overcome. Like my parents divorce, my teen years and running away from home, my boyfriend of 4 years who died in a car accident, as well as having my kids at a young age (18). That doesn't even scratch the bottom of the barrel as to what I have to share, just gives you an idea of what you can look forward to.
I will label each post under "Getting to Know Me" this way they will be easy to find for those of you who may need to catch up a bit.
So let's get started...
Here she is being my little rock star. We don't have a drum set like this (it was at Grandpa's house this weekend) but I'm thinking she just might get one from Santa this year. She had so much fun. That's all she did all day. If you notice, she had everything down as well. See her little foot on the peddle? Just like the pros do it! I should have video taped it, only if I had the camcorder? You can't see how she was nodding her head to the beat, banging on the drums, and tapping her foot, all at the same time. My little girl got's rhythm.
It's things like this that help me get through days like what I have had today. (Will explain a little bit later. I didn't want to "say" things here, on my blog, that I might later regret, simply because they were said out of anger.) So I did some online searching, socializing, all that jazz and now feel as though my head is much clearer and able to function appropriately. Wait I don't think that ever happens?? Either way, what I'm saying is I feel better, as in I'm not so pee*off anymore.
Funny Videos, Pictures and Stuff - Priceless Pictures from Childhood
As for this post, I am venturing out into the Technorati world. Even though I have been linked to technorati through my other blog from quite some time, I still have no idea how it works exactly. I figure it's time I start to learn.
So here is the link to my Technorati Profile
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
The Baby's Name
1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites.
2nd baby: Someone has to name his or her kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.
3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger points.
Preparing for the Birth
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.
1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn's clothes, color- coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
- No word in the English Language rhymes with MONTH.
- TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters from only one row on the keyboard.
- On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year.
- It's possible to lead a cow upstairs, but not downstairs.
- Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
- 90% of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.
- 35% of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
- Abraham Lincoln faces to the right on a penny, while all the other presidents face to the left on US coins.
- The ears of a cricket are located on the front legs, just below the knee.
I have never owned one personally, and feel it is becoming a necessity. I spend a good deal of time on the computer daily, and frankly I am tired of being stuck in one stinking spot all the time. My kids are even starting to feel a bit abandoned at times. I need mobility, I need freedom, I need me a laptop!
Now, beings that I have never owned one, I am requesting assistance from anyone and everyone who has had personal experience in this area. I just want to get an idea of what works well and what does not. Also where I might be able to get the best deal? Any tips and suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
And come Christmas, I will post a picture of my new "gift" for all to see. (Now I just have to start saving up, from what I have seen so far, I'm looking at an easy $2,000 that I am going to have to shell out for this bad boy!)
Yet, it is always nice when you have someone else to back you up on that. Especially when it is someone as educated as a school teacher.
It is that time of year, and I had my first parent-teacher conference since the kiddos started school in August. I am so proud!
All I heard was how great both of them are in class. They both participate wonderfully, they help the other kids in their class if needed, they listen and pay attention. I mean what's up with that? They don't do that at home??
Anyhow...Nana is in 1st grade, and her teacher absolutely adores having her. What got me was how smart she really is. Not just me being a parent, but by test results. If anyone is familiar with DIBELS (Dynamic Indicators of Basic Early Literacy Skills) then you will get this...if not...well I don't know? Anyhow, Nana is way smarter than the average bear. On one part of the testing, phoneme segmentation fluency, she scored off the chart. They had to put a little arrow pointing up near the top of the graph. I may just have myself a Doctor in the makings here. (That's one of her future options...that and a teacher.)
On to Beaner's Report. He is now a 3rd grader, it's hard to believe. His teacher pointed out how well he does with math, she said he works very hard and seems to enjoy all the materials that they are studying. He also is a great partner during group activities. Apparently he is always the one helping to keep his group on task and get it done. This is hard to believe because at home he is quite opposite.
So there you have it, we are off to a good start. This is another reason why I am glad I started this blog, not to brag or show off, that's really not the point, ok maybe just a tad. But this is going to be a great way to look back and see what sort of progress we have made, what may have went wrong, and also find ways to make things better.
2. How many kids call you mommy? 3
3. When you were pregnant did you know what you were having? Yep.
4. How old were you when you became a mom? 18
5. How long were you in labor? With my 1st, forever...honestly like 32 hours, then they had to do a c-section. That was awful. The other 2 were planned, so no labor there.
6. What's your favorite thing about being a mom? All the loves and kisses, and seeing them to great things and get excited about it.
7. What's your least favorite thing? Has to be cleaning up all the little messes, oh and laundry.
8. Do you want more kids? Right now, NO. Future, possibly.
9. Have you ever taken your kid(s) on a trip? They go with me everywhere, so yes, many times.
10. Is your kid(s) named after someone? No, not really. All of my kids are half hispanic, so I wanted them to have something to show that. My son's middle name is Joell. My 6 year old daughters middle name is Marie, for her Grandma(her fathers side)
11. When is the last time you had a sitter; What did you do? I honestly can't remember...oh yeah, it was for my birthday back in August. A friend of mine came to watch the kids while we went to dinner. Wasn't long, but it was a break.
12. What is the longest you have been away from your kid(s)? I haven't, not all at once anyhow. Sometimes they will take turns going to stay the night at Grandma's or their Aunt's house, other than that, we stay together.
13. Last movie you saw in theater? Cars
14. One thing you will not give up just because you're a mom: I'm not sure, I think that my life revolves around me as a mom. One thing that I do make sure I take time for though is "mommy time." Which is time for me, usually when the kids are in bed. (we have a 7:30 bedtime around here just for this reason!)
15. One thing you did give up now that you're a mom: Sleep!
16. If I could do it over, I'd do this differently: Wait until I was more prepared and ready to have kids. I love them and wouldn't change it for the world, but it hasn't been easy, and quite frankly, I'm surprised everyday that I have even made it this far.
I know that life sometimes seems unfair, believe me...I know. Given the one that I have had, most people may not have made it thus far. I have always believed that no matter what is thrown my way, there is always a way to overcome it. Right?
Life is not perfect for anyone. It doesn't matter if you have money or if you don't. No matter what benefits or lack there of in your life, there is always some sort of "issue" to overcome.
Can you imagine what life would be like without them? We would all stop learning. The only way to not have some "troubles" to go through, is to know absolutely everything. That is just not possible. We learn by doing. Our most treasured memories and achievements in life are the ones we have had to work for, and quite possibly, were the worst of times of which make us better people. When you know that you lived through something so hard to deal with, that gives you an enormous amount of confidence that anything is possible.
What I'm trying to get at is this...Our attitudes are what make us happy or sad, loving or angry, believers or quitters. If we have jealousy and resentment locked inside, there is no way to ever see the joy that life truly is. So what if your driving home after a long days work and the person in front of you is going 20 mph in a 30 zone, what good will it do to get upset? It's not going to make them drive any faster, right? And what if you constantly feel as though you are stuck doing all the work, yet you don't ask anyone for help? You will be bitter towards others and without voicing your concerns, there is no way to resolve them.
I am just tired of hearing people "gripe" of all the little things in life that bother them. Stop worrying about everyone and everything around you and start focusing on what is important in your life. As long as we know in our own hearts that we are doing the best that we can, then it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks or even does elsewhere, because all in all, "If it's meant to be, it's up to me."
Start being thankful for all the things you do have. I guarantee, no matter what is happening right now, it will pass and someone else is having a much bigger problem at that same very moment. Shoot, be thankful that you are still here and you have a chance at making the most of it.
- It could be that we simply have too much stuff. (This is probably the most direct and concrete reason as to why!)
- It could also be the fact that my children take me as the maid who seems to do it all, so why bother.
- Or the only other reason that I can think of is that we have a little gnome that lives under the sofa, and each time I pick something up, he replaces it just to get on my nerves!
|What color is your personality?|
Your personality is orange!
WOW! your an outgoing, and active individual. Sometimes your personality is confused with red, but your much more caring, and warm than red. You like animals, and can comfort almost anyone!
Quizzes and Personality Tests
It is my kids and how they are my responsibility and they are my life.
Next is my Nana, she is 6, will be 7 in November. I'm not completely sure about that however, it's more like 6 going on 30. She loves school, and making friends, she talks to everyone she meets.
And last but not least is my youngest, who will be 2 in November as well, Sissy. She is so smart, yet so very honery. But we do love her dearly. The faces she makes, oh they are to die for. She at the moment loves Barney, and her brother and sister too.
So this is it, this is my 3 lives.
Not only that, but I spend alot of time on the internet. Researching, meeting people and just overall networking. I need a place to share all of my wonderful findings.
And life is always exciting around our home so why not share it with the world? Right? Right!