Being a Single Mom isn't what it's all cracked up to be...

I initially started this blog so that I could hopefully help other single moms realize that it's not as awful as it seems at first. In fact, I often wonder if I don't have it better than some married women? In my personal experience, having a "man" around only meant more laundry, more work and in ways, just another child to care for. Don't get me wrong, there are benefits to having a relationship. I just think that I have gotten too used to not having anyone else to answer to or to rely on and then be let down. Our life is planned (not always...) but everything just sort of flows.

In fact, there are many married women of which I think have it way more difficult then I do. For example, the many women who are living in a abusive relationship day in and day out because they have no idea what else to do. They live in fear every single day and to me that is the absolute worst way to live.

Then there are the women who's husbands are deployed overseas and they are simply waiting for the day when he walks back through the door and is home. They too have the constant worry but in a much different way, they have to wonder if all is well? Why hasn't he been able to call for the last 2 months? Sitting by the phone waiting and worrying. To me that too is not a fun way to have to live your days.

When people find out that I am a single mom with 3 kids and that I work from home, they are in ways set back by it. They praise me and tell me that I am so much stronger then they could be, and how do I do it? All I have to say is, I am not any stronger nor do I have any special talents than you do. You just have to make the most out of what you have and realize that there is always, always, someone who has it harder than you do at any given moment, and whatever it is that you're going through, it too will pass.


Shannon said...

Ok. Dude, you have me crying. I so know how you feel. I get the same thing because I'm a single mom and work full time from home. It's hard...really hard. But I'm not any stronger than anybody else. And every time I start getting stressed out and feel like things are so bad, I'm reminded that somebody has it worse than I do.

Like right now for Christmas. I can't afford to buy Andrew a bunch of expensive presents. And there's that part of me that feels bad about that. Sometimes I feel like I'm failing him. But on the other hand, he's going to have a decent Christmas because I have friends and a church family that has stepped up and said we'd like to take care of Andrew's Christmas. And then I remember there are so many kids out there that will be lucky to have a coat, let alone a bunch of toys and stuff.

Wow, this turned more into a post than a comment. All to say I know where you're coming from. :)

~Crystal~ said...

You are a wonderful mom Shannon, and it doesn't matter how many gifts you give him. I'm sure he is happy just having you and maybe a matchbox car. lol But seriously, no worries... it's not about what you're going through, it's what you're going to. And I know that you aren't just sitting at home is self sorrow, you are doing what you have to for you & Andrew, and I bet you won't even recognize you're life in a couple years or maybe even sooner.