It's Gonna Be Christmas Come Early Around Here Next Week...

So, I have been fighting with my computer for quite some time now, and as a vowed not so long ago, I was going to finally splurge a little on myself this year and purchase a new laptop. Well, this past week has been heck dealing with my now non-existent computer. It would completely shut down on me, not just once a day either, more like 6 or 7 times a day. You know how frustrating that can be?

Anyhow, I ordered myself one today from Gateway and it should be here at the very latest by November 9th. They mentioned it most likely will come sooner, but at the latest by next Friday. I am so excited I can hardly control myself. I feel like a kid again, so impatient and eager to play with her new toy.

I do have to admit, I went all out on this one. I got the Gateway C-140x Convertible Notebook. It's one of those tablet pc's, the one's that you can flip over and use just like a notebook? It comes with plenty of memory and all the extra little "stuff" I might need.

I am so excited! Imagine the freedom, the simplicity, the possibilities.

I will definitely share more after it arrives.

Just when things are going really well...

It seems like every time things are really looking up and all is well, something has to jump up and slap me right in the face once again. I know that I am not the only person who deals with this on a consistent basis, right? But seriously, I am ready for a break, it doesn't have to be a long one, just a glimpse of sanity and stress-free living, just a little.

You see, my day started off really well. As I posted earlier this morning, I was beginning to tackle some of my "flaws" in order to live a more peaceful life. And it wasn't just that, I have been doing great with my home business, one of the top recruiters on our team actually. Things are looking up financially, actually better than they may have ever been, well at least since I took on the role of a "single" mom. All is going great!

Then it starts happening...It started with my computer. As some of you may know from my previous posts, I was planning on purchasing a new laptop as my Christmas gift to myself this year. Judging from today, it seems that I'm going to be getting my gift early this year. I last remember counting number 6 as in the number of times my computer decided to just completely shut down on me. I knew it was coming, but seriously, why now?

Then, and this one is much better, let me tell you. I get a knock at the door just shortly after lunch. Hmmm...who could it be? The sheriff? Yep, I was being served papers to appear in court. Why is that? I am being taken to small claims court by a woman who is much like a grandma to me, and she filed this claim with absolutely no warning to me. She is suing me for the $600 I had borrowed from her back in July so that I could attend our corporate convention in Dallas. Mind you, she knows the situation I am in and the fact that I am the sole supporter of my 3 kids, with little to no help. She claims that she has tried to call me and I do not answer, this is simply not true. In fact, she was here in town just a few days ago and went to Sam's Club with my mother, the reason I know that is because they had to use my Sam's Club card. I know it can't be because she needs the money. So if money is not the issue, then what can it be?

I was too upset to call her today, I still can't believe that she did it in the first place. But here is my theory on why she may have done this and taken it to this level. Personally I think that my mother (and even more so, her mouth) may be the culprit. My mom has a tendency to "share her opinion & thoughts" about persons, and/or situations, regardless of what the facts actually are. As you may have read in a previous post about my life with my mother, she tends to have her own view as to how things seem, while the rest of the world sees otherwise. When she is feeling left out, she gets mad. When she wants help cleaning her house, and we don't go do it (it's not our mess, I mean we have our own houses to clean up and kids to clean up after, no time to clean up after 2 grown adults, right?) either way if we don't drop what we are doing and run, she's mad. It really can be about anything, you never really know, but no matter what, when she is mad, she lets everyone know. It has been this way my entire life. Through my teen years, I think that everyone who came in contact with my mother heard how awful I was. True Story!

Enough about that though, I just think that she may have been gossiping about things, not even realizing what she was doing. You see, like I said, I get little to no help from the children's father. Even though he owns his own business, drives nice cars (not just 1 or 2, more like 5-10) Things like a Chrysler 300, Cadillac Escalade, Expedition, the list could go on. My mom has made numerous comments concerning this issue in fact. And every single time the children's father has actually offered to buy diapers, or anything of that nature, and we were in the presence of my mother, she sticks out her hand and says "oh, I could use some of that." Who does that?

Anyhow, I just think that "N"-the woman suing me-is under the impression that if Jr.-the kids father- is doing so well, I must be also. If she only knew...

Baby Steps to A Better "ME"...Step 1-Procrastination

I'm not sure if anyone even reads my blog anymore? I can understand why they may not, I mean I haven't posted anything new here for what seems like forever. And why is that? No real good reason actually. It's not like I don't have anything to say or share. It's actually quite the opposite really. And this is an issue that I have always struggled with for as long as I can remember, and that is Procrastination.

I tend to let myself get so bogged down with everything that I feel needs to be done, so much so that I don't do much of anything. Case in point this blog. It doesn't take me long to jot a little something here real quick, lets say 15 minutes tops. Yet I sit and think about which topic I should talk about first, and then not being able to come to a decision, I simply add it to my "to do" list for later.

As for that constantly growing, never ending, "to do" list...I say to heck with it. From this day forward I am trashing the old list, and vow to start anew, but this time I will start finishing those little pesky tasks that I have there. I think that the idea of seeing that huge lists of things to do really put a damper on my entire day.

So I am starting fresh. Who's with me? All the "little" things I used to simply put off until later, I am going to just do them and get it over with. If there is something that I dread doing, but needs to be done regardless. I will do a little bit each day if I have to, one bite at a time.

Shoot, just by taking this 5 minutes to post here, something of which I have put off forever, I already feel somewhat relieved. What else can I get done today?

We've Got To Keep The Fun Here As Well...

Even though I have decided to start telling my life story, and be a more serious note, I figure it's best to keep the other "fun" stuff here as well. (Not everyone will be interested in my life story, I know that, and it's ok.) I still think laughter is the best medicine and we all need a daily dose of it anyways.
So here you have it...

The 4 Stages of Life!

My Life Story...The Cast...My Mother

I have mixed feeling towards my mother. I love her for the fact that she is my mom. However, I resent her for so many things and the role that she has played in each of them.

My parents split up when I was in the 5th or 6th grade. My sister and I went to live with my mom. I'm not sure who decided this, most likely my mom made the decision for everyone, either way I can see why they would not stay together. No one that knows my parents now, is able to picture them being married in the first place. They are like fire and ice, black and white, two complete opposites.

My mom has never been one to hold her tongue. She likes to gossip, and she tells everyone everything. She always has. Even after my parents split, and their subsequent divorce, my mother frequently bad mouthed my father, both to us directly, as well as to everyone she talked to. She would state how my father didn't care about us because he never wanted to have us stay with him on the weekends. And how he was never there and never would be. And so many other awful things that no one should ever tell their children about one of their parents.

Later in life, she would state that she didn't know that my father had to work Saturdays and that was why he wasn't able to take us on the weekends. But she swears to the fact that she never spoke this way in front of us. Ummmm...ok.

Moving on. Teenage years are hard to deal with, I know that. But with my mother they were exceptionally difficult. You see my mother worked 2-3 jobs at a time. She worked nights at a factory. Would come home sleep for a few hours. Then go to work as a hair dresser. And on the weekends would bar tend at a local bar. My sister and I were left to pretty much take care of ourselves. We cooked, cleaned, did the laundry, we didn't see her much then. And she was doing all of this and still was just barely getting by. (I don't know why, or how true that is, considering the fact that she didn't spend much on us. I was working as a waitress when I was 14 and was required to buy my own clothes, etc.)

I don't want this to go on and on about every little thing that she did to us, or the choices she made that maybe weren't the best, especially when they are done with your children watching and learning from your example. But there is one other issue that I think is important to understanding my mom and how she plays a role in my life story.

You see, my mom has a way of wanting to do things for people, as if she is doing it out of the kindness of her heart. But then turns around and throws it right back up into your face for all of eternity. This is a major issue that I can't seem to settle with my mom. She can't see it in the way that everyone else does. She seems to think that she is the only one who does all this stuff for everyone, and yet no one appreciates her for it, or that no one does anything for her. I have come to a point where I refuse to ask her for anything. (Unless it would be a life or death situation, then maybe.)

To sum it up, because honestly I could probably go on and on about stuff, but all in all it boils down to the fact that my mother has, in her mind, what she believes to be true, she creates her own little story of what she thinks took place, and well that's her story and she's stickin to it. When she has a grudge, she holds it forever. She will always hold that one issue, both big and small, against whomever it is, forever. She refuses to try and see things differently and from someone else's point of view and quite frankly thinks that the world may be out to get her.

That reminds me of one last thing, she acts a bit like a hypochondriac. She always seems to have something ailing her. Personally I think it's all in her head, one minute she could be just fine, and the next she is so sick. It's kinda funny how it plays out, because it seems as though she tends to get sick when she starts to fall out of the center stage. I think it's her way of bringing the attention back into her court, as well as getting people to feel sorry for her and think that we are the worst daughters on the face of the earth because we refuse to fall for her all to common trick.

It's all these issues and more, that make it hard for me to respect and look up to her as my mother. A mother doesn't make her children feel guilty for things that they had no control of. A mother doesn't break a child down simply for their own satisfaction. A mother does things because she wants to, not because of the recognition that can be gained (as well as the sympathy) A mother is there to help her children in any way that she can, not ask them for help and then criticize them for not doing enough.

I would have liked for my mother to have been someone I could trust and look up to. But that simply has not been the case here. We will see what the future brings.

Getting To Know Me & My Story...

I have been trying to find a way that I can share the issues that happen in my day to day life, but do so without making it some long 2 page post that covers every detail leading up to the event at hand. I have experienced so much in the 27 years that I have been here, and many of the things I have gone through are things that others may be facing at this very moment. If I could help them simply by sharing my story, then I will have accomplished what it is I set out to do.

The only way I can think of to make this simple and to keep everything as minimal as I can, is to break it down into pieces. For example, to really know me and understand where I'm coming from and why I feel the way that I do about certain things, I think it's important to know a little bit about each person that personally plays a role in my day to day life. You know my family, friends, and others who have crossed my path along the way.

I am also going to start sharing some of the different obstacles that I have had to overcome. Like my parents divorce, my teen years and running away from home, my boyfriend of 4 years who died in a car accident, as well as having my kids at a young age (18). That doesn't even scratch the bottom of the barrel as to what I have to share, just gives you an idea of what you can look forward to.

I will label each post under "Getting to Know Me" this way they will be easy to find for those of you who may need to catch up a bit.

So let's get started...

My Future Rock Star!

"Sissy" is at such a fun age. She is always doing something new and different. She will be turning 2 in a few weeks, but she already seems so advanced. It seems like yesterday she spoke very few words, and today we can get a complete conversation out of her, and we even understand it. (Well most of it anyhow...)

Here she is being my little rock star. We
don't have a drum set like this (it was at Grandpa's house this weekend) but I'm thinking she just might get one from Santa this year. She had so much fun. That's all she did all day. If you notice, she had everything down as well. See her little foot on the peddle? Just like the pros do it! I should have video taped it, only if I had the camcorder? You can't see how she was nodding her head to the beat, banging on the drums, and tapping her foot, all at the same time. My little girl got's rhythm.

This is Too Funny!

It's things like this that help me get through days like what I have had today. (Will explain a little bit later. I didn't want to "say" things here, on my blog, that I might later regret, simply because they were said out of anger.) So I did some online searching, socializing, all that jazz and now feel as though my head is much clearer and able to function appropriately. Wait I don't think that ever happens?? Either way, what I'm saying is I feel better, as in I'm not so pee*off anymore.

Funny Videos, Pictures and Stuff - Priceless Pictures from Childhood

I'm Still Trying To Figure Out How All This "Blog" Stuff Works...

I am slowly trying to figure out how different parts of blogging work. I figure everything will come together in time, all I need to do is learn a little more each day. If anyone has any tips that they would like to share, please do so. I am always open to suggestions.

As for this post, I am venturing out into the Technorati world. Even though I have been linked to technorati through my other blog from quite some time, I still have no idea how it works exactly. I figure it's time I start to learn.

So here is the link to my Technorati Profile

I'm Sure It Truly Was An Honest Mistake...

How Parenthood Changes With Each New Baby

Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here, some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first.

Your Clothes
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

The Baby's Name
1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites.
2nd baby: Someone has to name his or her kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.
3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger points.

Preparing for the Birth
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

The Layette
1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn's clothes, color- coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

A Few Things That You Don't Really Need To Know...

I bet you didn't know that...
  • No word in the English Language rhymes with MONTH.
  • TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters from only one row on the keyboard.
  • On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year.
  • It's possible to lead a cow upstairs, but not downstairs.
  • Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
  • 90% of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.
  • 35% of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
  • Abraham Lincoln faces to the right on a penny, while all the other presidents face to the left on US coins.
  • The ears of a cricket are located on the front legs, just below the knee.
Just a little something to think about! If you know of others, do share.